Life stories
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An authored journal for essays, notes, and field reports.
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6 in useChimerical Apotheoses
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Love
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Stories
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Books
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Religion
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2016
4 postsWhat Pride feels like to a first-time walker
Colors. Everywhere. Rainbows on flags, on clothes, on faces. Colors on costumes, colors on vehicles, colors on buildings. Everything is so colorful, it literally feels like the darkness in your life is being chased away. You walk and dance…
Ordinary Things With Teeth
Coffee, books, and rain still feel like ordinary miracles to me, mostly because each one can comfort and wound in the same breath.
The Book That Found Me Before I Did
Some books entertain you, some educate you, and a rare few arrive like a private diagnosis. This one reached me before I had the language to explain why.
More Than One New Year
Moving countries teaches you that calendars are not neutral. The date everyone treats as normal is usually just the one with the most institutional power.
2015
8 postsNo, uncle. Everyone I talk to is NOT my girlfriend.
You know how annoying it is when you text someone and the adult next to you says with a knowing grin “mmmmm so who’s the lucky girl?” or “mmmm who’s the lucky man?” (also notice how they say man and girl instead of man and woman. As though…
Park Wifi and Other First Luxuries
Infrastructure is not glamorous until you have lived without it. Then fast internet, reliable power, and public wifi can feel almost theological.
The First Week Montreal Felt Possible
The first week after moving to Montreal felt like stepping into a city where queerness was not only survivable but visible, ordinary, and public.
Ah, the triskelion; as beautiful as it is meaningful. Love it, live it, breathe it.
A triskelion, or triskele, can hold many different meanings. It can symbolize any kind of motion, like progress, actions, or cycles. It can also symbolize any three major elements that are heavily interwoven. Traditionally, it is tied to t…
What do you mean, “s/he’s changed”? It’s not like someone can change their soul whenever they feel like it…
There are certain people who, after a certain turning point in their lives, we think become someone else. We start comparing them with who they were before by saying things like “the old X” and “the new X,” i.e. Miley Cyrus. I hate it. Who…
Love, Lust, and the Things We Confuse
Many arguments about homosexuality collapse several different questions into one. Once you separate attraction, desire, love, and doctrine, the panic starts to look less profound.
Rainbow, After the Verdict
A court ruling can change the law in a day. The rainbow means something older and harder won than a single verdict, because it also carries blood, bruise, shelter, and witness.
Love Is Not a Contract
Boundaries are real, needs are real, and relationships require effort. But if someone's love depends on your shrinking into a more convenient version of yourself, that is not intimacy. That is a transaction.